Favours

I wiped my tears off as

The smoke from the dying butt

Of the half burnt cigarette

Stung my eyes; I suppressed a cough -

My third one, which was why

He put out the cigarette in the first place,

An obligation, a compromise;

A momentary regret crept up in my mind,

It was his guilty pleasure, after all,

What right did I have to stop someone?

One last, long puff, as if he didn't want to let go,

And then, he turned towards me,

Of all the things that he knew,

And didn't know about me,

The only thing he seemed to remember

Was the fact that I loved it

Whenever he would be the big spoon,

He took a deep breath, taking in

All of the fragrance that

The lavender shampoo had left in my hair,

While the fingers of his left hand

Made circles on my left arm

He was humming "K" by CAS,

I felt like he had drifted off

Into a distant land of his own,

Where I wasn't allowed,

Where I would be a trespasser;

"You remind me of my favourite person."

I snapped out of my own distant land

And shyly admitted to not having

Heard him the first time;

"You remind me of my favourite person."

I was somewhat confused,

But mostly crushed by his words;

"Didn't you just tell me that

You love me just an hour ago?"

"I did, and I still do."

"Shouldn't that make ME your favourite person?"

"Maybe it should, maybe it's not

How it works for me, not yet, at least."

"So how does it work for you, then?"

"Well, I could still love you,

But if I were to choose someone

To die for in a moment of crisis,

It would be that person;

I'm sorry, I don't think I can really

Explain the logic here."

A sigh. His. Mine. Mixed.

"How is it that you love me,

Yet you have someone else

To favour over me?

Does it not mean I am

Just a mere refection of

Someone else's memories?"

"No, we have our own memories"

A smile. His melting into mine.

He hums "Apocalypse",

As he lights yet another cigarette.

//NaPoWriMo, Day 20